Twisting Our Native Tongue

As I've mentioned before, I'm amused by Engrish, Chinglish, and all their variants. Hearing a Japanese man go on about "a big erection" when he's trying to say "election" is pretty hysterical. But as a writer, editor, and communications professional who's married to an English major, I'm troubled by the rather bleak future Wired Magazine predicts for my dear native language. To me, Engrish is funny because it's wrong; it's misused. But in the future, what happens if phrases like "Our goalie not here yet, so give chance, can or not?" stop being wrong? Will my proficiency in the English language matter anymore? Will American schools start teaching Panglish? Is English destined to be the next Latin? Either way, as a vocab and grammar geek, the thought of butchered phrases, mispronunciations, and non-words going mainstream kind of breaks my heart.

(For the record, I just had a vision of myself 60 years from now as a persnickety old guy who amuses himself by laughing derisively at all the "ignorant kids" and their "nonsensical babble". Meh. Could be fun. Perhaps the future's not so bad...)

Laughing at the Engrish Language

During the summer of 2004, I spent a month in Okinawa, Japan helping to teach English in local schools and communities. While there, I fell in love with sushi, fresh mango, dragon fruit, Aquarius, snorkeling ... and Engrish.

Engrish is misused English. It usually happens when Japanese designers and advertisers try to use English on their products to "look cool" and end up writing really funny (and often shockingly inappropriate) things on T-shirts, store fronts, and packaging. The best part is that Japanese consumers often buy and use such products without ever realizing that anything's amiss. For example, the pastor of a small church on Ie Jima often wore a T-shirt covered in nonsensical English phrases laced with profanity. (No one had the heart to tell him what it said — he'd received the shirt as a Father's Day present and it was one of his favorites.) I bought a couple shirts myself. One had the words "Dearest Monkey" and a picture of a smiling monkey with a speech bubble that said "A banana isn't given to it!" Too awesome not to have.

Here in the U.S., Engrish.com has been my go-to spot for butchered English hilarity. Just to give you a taste...


Classic. To see more and laugh harder, click here. Enjoy! Happy Monday.